Sending up prayers for a friend today.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Raging, Alarming Dashboard Signals!!!
Church is your safe place, right?! Sometimes. Okay, so most of the time. But last week it was just another thing that knocked me down.
I heard hours (quite literally) of good things. Why does one comment contaminate the waters?
Someone got up and actually said he'd been talking with a woman in her 30's and asked why she didn't have children. (BTW, NEVERRRR ask a woman that! And know that you may or may not be given an honest answer if you do ask.) The woman (who probably wanted to run from the room and cry, or smack his face) said she and her husband had two dogs they were raising. (Okay, does this sound like a typical infertile woman's response to anyone besides me?!) So he proceeded to tell her that dogs won't live as long as children, and they can't take care of you when you get old, and that there is nothing on earth like bone of your bone and flesh or your flesh.
I am astonished and sick for not only her, but ME! I had to listen to the repeat, and I could barely sit in my seat. After he'd moved on to something else and it wasn't obvious I was being rude to him, I rushed to the bathroom, managed to make it to a stall, sank onto the toilet seat, and cried. Then I collected my emotions off the bathroom floor, washed my face, and behaved.
This person is not malicious, and probably just didn't think about it. But he's constantly telling people to "watch their dashboard." Watch YOUR dashboard! There were nine adults in the building that night. Did he not notice I was one of them?! I just looked at my best friend in shock (yeah, she turned around, probably sensing that I wanted to bawl), and mouthed, "Nice."
Re-living it has made me tired. I need an afternoon nap.
I heard hours (quite literally) of good things. Why does one comment contaminate the waters?
Someone got up and actually said he'd been talking with a woman in her 30's and asked why she didn't have children. (BTW, NEVERRRR ask a woman that! And know that you may or may not be given an honest answer if you do ask.) The woman (who probably wanted to run from the room and cry, or smack his face) said she and her husband had two dogs they were raising. (Okay, does this sound like a typical infertile woman's response to anyone besides me?!) So he proceeded to tell her that dogs won't live as long as children, and they can't take care of you when you get old, and that there is nothing on earth like bone of your bone and flesh or your flesh.
I am astonished and sick for not only her, but ME! I had to listen to the repeat, and I could barely sit in my seat. After he'd moved on to something else and it wasn't obvious I was being rude to him, I rushed to the bathroom, managed to make it to a stall, sank onto the toilet seat, and cried. Then I collected my emotions off the bathroom floor, washed my face, and behaved.
This person is not malicious, and probably just didn't think about it. But he's constantly telling people to "watch their dashboard." Watch YOUR dashboard! There were nine adults in the building that night. Did he not notice I was one of them?! I just looked at my best friend in shock (yeah, she turned around, probably sensing that I wanted to bawl), and mouthed, "Nice."
Re-living it has made me tired. I need an afternoon nap.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
My IF Hero
When you suffer with infertility, you naturally seek out heroes you can look up to that have suffered with the same thing you suffer with, but rose above it gracefully. Such women speak to me. I am drawn to them. Why? Their infertility is just like mine, which means they could do or say nothing that would change their conditions. Still, though, when you think of Mary, the Barren Queen of England, don't you admire her strong mind and poise, if not her mighty uterus?! ;)
One woman that speaks volumes to me is Frida Kahlo, the famous Mexican painter. Her body was so painfully broken she would never bear children, and yet she is an expression of raw emotion and vibrancy.
And who couldn't love the accomplished Mrs. Julia Child? The woman towers above most women, in body and in spirit. Although you can't replace the hole not being able to have a child creates, she adored her husband and pursued her passion for cooking. Go, Julia!
On a funnier note, did you ever stop to think Mrs. Claus never had any children? They would have been doomed to diabetes and high blood pressure, but still.... I suppose she took in those orphaned elves and loved them like a mother.
But the woman whom I love, my sparkle sister, will never be topped. Dolly Parton, YOU ROCK! Or maybe I should say you rock-a-billy. After collapsing on stage at 36, Dolly had to have a partial hysterectomy, and said she went through dark days coming to terms with infertility. But she came out on the other side, shinier and someone who radiates from within. She is one talented lady, and simply put, I love her.
So come on, ladies! Hold your head up. Create whatever your heart desires. You're running in amazing company...
One woman that speaks volumes to me is Frida Kahlo, the famous Mexican painter. Her body was so painfully broken she would never bear children, and yet she is an expression of raw emotion and vibrancy.
And who couldn't love the accomplished Mrs. Julia Child? The woman towers above most women, in body and in spirit. Although you can't replace the hole not being able to have a child creates, she adored her husband and pursued her passion for cooking. Go, Julia!
On a funnier note, did you ever stop to think Mrs. Claus never had any children? They would have been doomed to diabetes and high blood pressure, but still.... I suppose she took in those orphaned elves and loved them like a mother.
But the woman whom I love, my sparkle sister, will never be topped. Dolly Parton, YOU ROCK! Or maybe I should say you rock-a-billy. After collapsing on stage at 36, Dolly had to have a partial hysterectomy, and said she went through dark days coming to terms with infertility. But she came out on the other side, shinier and someone who radiates from within. She is one talented lady, and simply put, I love her.
So come on, ladies! Hold your head up. Create whatever your heart desires. You're running in amazing company...
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